A Therapist’s Thoughts About Affairs

This topic is a tough one. “We have trust issues…” are words I often hear in a first visit. This often from a recent discovery over electronics, or Social media, or it could refer back to something some years back. What to do? I think I used to feel a bit more judgmental about this topic, or towards the straying partner(s) until I became more informed, and indeed witnessed the extreme and agonizing pain inflicted on several generations by such an event. Whether or not a person is of a particular religious persuasion, I have to say…there must be a reason why somebody wrote down that Sixth Commandment: “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” It does create such a mess!! Once this event has occurred, the relationship will never be the same. However, some couples do seem able to address the situation and use the crisis as an opportunity to create growth and change, and even a better relationship. This all does depend on so many factors: age and stage of the relationship, history and background of each partner, willingness, and desire to work hard to create the changes necessary to demonstrate and live commitment. From my research, 48% of American…

On Boundaries: Mending and Tending Fences

A kind of a buzzword in the field of addictions and mental health is a word called codependency.  This arose out of the effect that alcoholism was noted to have in the wife of the alcoholic;  she tended to cover up   and make excuses for her mate’s disease as it manifested in various habits where he tended to be less than functional.  For example, she would call his employer and say he was sick, when he had really been out the night before to tie one on.  Or, as the disease progressed and he became less functional in terms of  doing what he was supposed to do in his role as husband and father; she would overcompensate,  for example, by being the one to do all of the chauffeuring to soccer games, handling all the finances, keeping the household running, plus working a job and a half.   She became very tired and very resentful.  Melody Beattie wrote many books on this subject, such as Codependent No More.   Groups with the name of the acronym CODA, (Codependents Anonymous) have sprung up all over the country.  These are also twelve-step programs and they can be very helpful.  People who have grown up…

Transformational Healing

My clients come from a wide range of backgrounds and have very interesting life stories to tell.  Some have turned life’s lemons into lemonade.  Some seem to have had lives that are relatively easy.  Many carry stories buried deep within, wherein an earlier hurt or trauma affects them today in ways that they do not understand, or brings forth a pattern of behavior which for them is no longer functional. For example, a person may respond by outbursts of seemingly uncontrolled anger with a spouse or a child, wherein the provoking incident was relatively minor.  Or a person may suffer from crippling anxiety or depressive symptoms.  Alternatively, he or she may engage in escapism behaviors which have taken the form of an addiction.  I like to think of an addiction as continuing to do something that is bad for you (and those around you) repeatedly, despite knowing of its harmful effects. In my practice, I have always been on a quest to help a person find the most effective relief from problems, as soon as possible.  I searched out this method of  transformational healing after years of seeking ever more knowledge about the consequences of complex trauma, and how to…

Comfort and Healing Thoughts for Relationship Issues

Relationships can be so challenging…for just about everybody.   Love manifests itself in strange ways, as I ponder the many stories I get to hear, every day……Drama, drama, drama..Sometimes I think all families get dysfunctional, at some level, for at least parts of their journeys together. Alcohol, addictions, and mental illness in a family are often factors.  But even without these, relationships can just get bumpy at times.  It is the stuff of all novels and movies! And for the individual, either in the context of a one-on-one relationship, as well as in a clan, or in the ever-challenging blended families, it can feel very lonely when there is stress between people. It was about twenty-five years ago that I first learned of A Course in Miracles. Since then, I have read much of it, meditated on the principles therein, and continued to go back to it over the years; even have the “app” on my phone now. This document was scribed by a lady named Dr. Helen Shucmann and a gentleman friend named Dr. William Thetford, both being associated with Columbia University in New York City.  It has grown into a movement of sorts, and many highly intelligent people have written…

Origins Therapy

Origins Therapy is for anyone afflicted by a wide variety of common ailments including:  Migraine Headaches, Phobias, Allergies, Tinnitus, Panic Attacks as well as interpersonal dramas or acrimony (family, in-laws, neighbors, work, and other relational kinds of acrimony). For most kinds of issues and problems, we simply guide the client, or a stand in, to a meditative altered state where we use visual imagery the super consciousness’ capacity to locate the root cause or causes of the target issue, or equation,  in virtual imagery origins, or root causes and negative energies, also described as “frozen emotional blocks.” This peaceful and gentle process allows the energetic vibratory origins to be discharged or dissipated until there are no more feelings incurred, as they have been intentionally discharged thereby removing the presenting target afflictions and issues.   This is then followed by reciprocal forgiveness of these same origns and oneself, with any and all components and elements involved in the equation’s drama. The technique purportedly originates in the ancient & mythical Age of Atlantis, carried forward to the Egyptians and subsequently lost in the fire of their Library in Alexandria and subsequently revealed forensically by accident while culling cultural information’s origins by a Regression…